Self-Medicating
I let someone steal my joy today.
In one brief minute, reading the words someone had sent to me, I let that someone steal my joy. I didn't mean to let this happen, I didn't want this to happen, but it did. It crushed me, it altered me, it drove me deep into the place where I hate to be. All because I let someone steal my joy from me.
I sit and write this after hours of self medicating via long drives, frozen coffee's, cozy snuggles in bed reading and watching a movie with the hubster. After my drive and many questions and self-doubt swamping me, my heart is becoming more still. My throat is raw from yelling and crying out asking God why here, why now, why this place? I wrote earlier about how life is made up just little moments all strung together and it is our job to make the most of these little moments.
My joy was stolen today, but I went on an amazing drive up Hwy. 32/Appalachian Hwy. I got to bear witness to the amazing changing of the seasons. I stopped in a town I had never been to before and got a frozen coffee. I came home and just got to immerse myself in a book (*1) and a Netflix movie (*2). My hubby made dinner and I get to sit here and write. I had a friend reach out the other night about the blog and it was a great reminder of how therapeutic writing has been for me for so long. It has been the way I have communicated some of the most difficult things going on in my life, it has been how I have shared the biggest joys and surprises with those I love. Writing has been my outlet, the way I self sooth.
So yes, my joy was stolen today!
And in its place I found the loving gestures of my husband. The comfort of a book. The beauty of God's creation, and the tasty treat of frozen coffee!
Blessings & Joy!
*1 Reading a tiny-tale by J.K. Rowling "The Tales of Beedle the Bard"
*2 John found a new Stephen King movie on Netflix "Gerald's Game"
In one brief minute, reading the words someone had sent to me, I let that someone steal my joy. I didn't mean to let this happen, I didn't want this to happen, but it did. It crushed me, it altered me, it drove me deep into the place where I hate to be. All because I let someone steal my joy from me.
I sit and write this after hours of self medicating via long drives, frozen coffee's, cozy snuggles in bed reading and watching a movie with the hubster. After my drive and many questions and self-doubt swamping me, my heart is becoming more still. My throat is raw from yelling and crying out asking God why here, why now, why this place? I wrote earlier about how life is made up just little moments all strung together and it is our job to make the most of these little moments.
So yes, my joy was stolen today!
And in its place I found the loving gestures of my husband. The comfort of a book. The beauty of God's creation, and the tasty treat of frozen coffee!
Blessings & Joy!
*1 Reading a tiny-tale by J.K. Rowling "The Tales of Beedle the Bard"
*2 John found a new Stephen King movie on Netflix "Gerald's Game"
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